Have you ever heard of the “90-Day Rule” for new relationships? The 90-Day Rule proposes that, when dating, a couple should wait 90 days before having sex.
Whether to have sex and when is a highly individual decision. For some people, sex is an integral part of any relationship from the start. Others, however, might prefer to put less pressure on sex in a new relationship.
Like anything else when it comes to dating, the 90-Day Rule has its pros and cons.
90-Day Rule Pros
- Sex is often more comfortable with someone you feel close to, as opposed to someone you don’t know very well. Spending time together before having sex ensures that you actually like each other outside of the physical aspect.
- Respecting each other’s boundaries is vital to any healthy relationship. Both parties feeling in control of their own bodies and decisions lays the foundation for a strong relationship between two independent people.
- You will inevitably learn a lot about your partner in 90 days. Time is valuable, and it says a lot about a person and their view of relationships if they are willing to wait out the time (or if they aren’t).
- You will learn more about yourself and your own attachment styles.
90-Day Rule Cons
- Obviously, you risk wasting time getting to know someone only to find out that you are not sexually compatible. Waiting 90 days only to learn that you are not sexually compatible can leave people with hurt feelings and a bad taste in their mouth.
- At the end of the day, the 90-Day Rule is … a rule. Not every relationship benefits from observing such strict rules.
- In a similar vein, it is important to acknowledge that there is no one-size-fits-all rule when it comes to having sex.
The 90-Day Rule is not for everyone. For some couples, waiting 90 days to have sex is a great exercise in patience, bonding, and commitment. Other individuals and couples may feel constrained by such strict limitations, and harbor resentment. When considering a partner for a serious relationship, this is a consideration that at least warrants conversation — even if it does not end in abiding by the 90-Day Rule.
At The Match Pro, it is our job to match you with individuals whose feelings on ideas like the 90-Day Rule are complementary to yours.
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